Apr 23, 2014

Forgiveness in marriage

Today I am going to take a break from my Wedding Wednesday post and share a piece of my heart with you. Don't worry; I will begin again next week! Stay tuned for a wedding shower recap! 

I am taking another retreat day for my job today and one of the subjects that I have been focusing on is forgiveness in marriage...

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also forgiven you." 
Ephesians 4:32

My husband and I had a fight this week. I hate fighting. Like a LOT. Without going into too much detail I will tell you that it was about something stupid. We both reacted poorly and we both said things we regretted later. Fortunately, we have not had many of these moments since we got married but I think that is why it scared me so much. It really upset me that we reacted that way to a stupid argument and that we were both being so selfish. I should have been more respectful of him and he should have been more loving to me. We both sinned and we needed to forgive each other. 

Marriage has definitely taught me the importance of forgiveness. It definitely has presented more opportunities to practice forgiveness than any of my other relationships. To forgive means "to give up resentment or the desire to punish." When we forgive someone, specifically our spouse, we can experience a blessing and an intimacy that could only come from God. Once we forgive, that's it. Feelings may still be raw, but by forgiving them you give up the desire to hold it against them. Just like we choose to love each other deeply every day we also much choose to forgive each other every single day. 

Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” 
Matthew 18: 21-22

Conflict stinks but it cannot always be avoided. The only way to avoid conflict is to avoid relationships. The more relationships you have the more conflict you will have. So it makes sense that you will have conflict with the people you are closest to. Meaning that you will have conflict with your spouse but we must always fight to seek reconciliation and forgiveness with them when conflict occurs. We might not always feel like forgiving the other person because we want to win… but marriage is not fighting with each other in order to win. It is about fighting for each other and realizing you are on the same team.

We need to cling to the hope in Jesus and seek forgiveness from our spouses and continue forgiving them just like Jesus forgave and continues to forgive us.

Thanks for reading along today!! 




  1. Amen! In college I realized the importance of forgiveness and although it's a struggle at times, I'm constantly reminded that God forgives me each and every day. What a loving Father he is!

  2. As weird as it sounds, I've never looked much into the definition of "forgiveness". I love that it says "to give up the desire to punish". To fully forgive means to not give my husband the silent treatment, dirty looks, and be grumpy towards him.

    Thank you for sharing and helping me understand forgiveness a little bit more!

  3. <3 yes, I love this: "It is about fighting for each other and realizing you are on the same team" -writing that one down!
    Thanks so much for linking up!