May 16, 2014

Coffee Date vol. 2

At the beginning of April I participated in Rachel's Coffee Date Link-up. It has been such a privilege to get to know Rachel through the blogging world. I love that we can read about what is on each other’s hearts and become kindred spirits even if we are not in the same state. That is what blogging is all about. Connecting with others and encouraging one another! It brings my heart so much joy! 


Today for our coffee date I am going to share with you about something that happened this week. I heard on Tuesday that a girl I knew from college, Caitlin, that her husband Cole was really sick and they didn't know if he was going to make it. I was completely shocked and immediately started looking for more information online. 

 A few weeks ago Cole was a healthy 24-year-old teacher, coach, and husband. Cole became very sick with what felt like the flu, after about 10 days of being sick and not getting better he went in to the Hospital. There the doctors were stumped as Cole’s illness continued to get worse. He was rushed by ambulance to St. Luke’s Hospital where doctors began running all sorts of tests. Cole’s condition continued to worsen as his body couldn’t seem to fight off what was dragging him down. He was moved to the St. Luke’s Intensive Care Unit. After a few days and several rounds of dialysis Cole began to experience seizures and was flown by airlift to Omaha shortly after. It was here where several specialists were waiting to start running tests to figure out what was causing all of this to happen. Cole was experiencing extreme swelling of his brain at this point.The professionals decided to keep him sedated and place him on a slow drip of dialysis to prevent further damage his kidney. This had been slowly working but the toxin levels in his body continued to bounce up and down. The medical professionals determined that Cole has a very rare disease called Ornithine Transcarbamylase Deficiency. Feel free to Google. This is so rare that it is only the 2nd case Omaha has ever seen and Cole is the oldest case in the history of this disease. Cole is far enough into the illness that doctors are calling for at least 7 doses of a medication that is supposed to help with this rare disease. This medication is so rare that it has to be flown in from all areas of the U.S. and the cost is ridiculously expensive. 

On Wednesday night Cole passed away. It was so quick and so shocking. Only a few weeks ago he was doing his job, coaching kids, helping with his church and furiously loving his wife. 

He and his wife Caitlin had been married 10 months...ugh. Only 10 months. Only two months less than Jordan and I have been married. And now Caitlin is a widow. I cannot even describe how much my heart breaks for that sweet girl. She is only 24 years old and has lost her husband. They didn't even make it to their 1st Anniversary. It is in circumstances like these that I often ask God, "why?" Why would such a horrible thing happen to such a beautiful couple? It just doesn't seem fair. 

Now I know that God is good and He is always in control. This situation has not made me question my faith at all but it has made me stop and think about what I would do in Caitlin's situation. How would I react or even survive if Jordan were to die tomorrow? It is painful for me to even think about that happening but in reality I can't guarantee that he won't. 

I apologize because I know this is morbid but as I was thinking about this I realized how much of my worth, security and life I put in my husband. I depend on him for just about everything and we share everything with each other. Now sharing things and depending on your spouse is not bad but are they all you have? If we put all of our worth and faith and security in our spouse we will be disappointed and we will also be in risk of complete and utter heartbreak. The more I thought about it the more I realized how I needed to put ALL of my trust in GOD and not Jordan. I need to put my security and my faith in Him first and then in my husband. 

The beauty of the situation with Cole and Caitlin is that they are both believers. They both had Jesus in their life and they trusting in His will. That means that Cole is dancing in heaven right now and Caitlin can depend on a God that will NEVER let her down or stop loving her. Now I am not naive in thinking this is going to be easy for her or it is going to happen instantly. I have also never lost someone so close to me so I do not know that pain she must be feeling but I DO know that she can trust and rely on Jesus. 

God has a plan for Caitlin and even though it is very beautiful even though it is hard right now. As I think about our anniversary coming in the next couple of days I am so thankful for the year I have had with Jordan and I wouldn't trade that for anything in this world. This entire situation has also made me realize that I need to appreciate TODAY. I need to appreciate and love the little things in my life. Here are some of the little things that I have been thinking about this week. 

Waking up next to my best friend every day
Getting to ride to work together 
My husband tickling me  
Watching TV shows together and laughing at the same things 
Drinking coffee together at breakfast
Dancing in the living room
Beating each other at Sequence 
Deep and meaningful discussions about God 
Fellowship with friends from church
Seeing his precious family 
Seeing my mom on Mothers Day
Going on a date tonight 

Now I know this post is a little scatterbrained and I am sorry if I am all over the place today but thank you for reading anyway. If you would please pray for my friend Caitlin this week, it is going to be a hard one. I would encourage you to think about your relationship with Jesus this week and ask yourself if you are putting all of your trust in Him? I know I need to work on that.

Thanks for following along guys! Thank you Rachel for hosting this awesome link-up! 


  1. i should not have read this at work cause i am in tears!!!! i cannot imagine what she is going through! my anniversary is tomorrow and i'm so thankful for our one year of marriage - even more so now! i think it's so fun that you get to ride to work together! we get to carpool to work right now too and it's been such a blessing! :)

  2. This post made my heart hurt thinking about being in your friend's shoes. I am right there with you on relying on my husband. He is such an important part of my life and it is SO hard not to rely on him for my joy but God. It would kill me to lose him but it's such a great reminder that God is still sovereign and holy and just. Thanks for sharing!


  3. This post really convicted me! I need to rely more on Christ than on Matthew. Thank you for sharing what is on your heart! That post must have been very difficult to write. I love reading your blog- you encourage me with every post you write! Keep shining His light, you're making a difference in people's lives through your blog! I look up to you :)

  4. This was heartbreaking to read but necessary. It's so easy to let people we love fill in those empty places. I am praying for you and your marriage and also for Caitlin. Man.

  5. Such a heavy heart after reading these words...thanks for sharing so that we can all be lifting this family up. No words, I simply cannot imagine. Love that you linked up today!! much love dear one!

  6. Oh Lindsey, my heart breaks for Caitlin and everyone who knew her husband. I can't even imagine, but what an important reminder that our hope, security, trust and joy are in Christ alone.

    Much love, friend <3

  7. This broke my heart-Never take a day for granted.

  8. Like you, I cannot even imagine going through what your friend has gone through. Praying for her and Cole's friends and family. You're so right, we have to put all of us into our faith and trust in Christ. It's hard not to put it all on our husbands but we have to remember their fleeting presence versus our Father's eternal presence!