Apr 2, 2014

Coffee Date

Oh Simple Thoughts

Good morning my dear blogging friends!

I just want to say that I am so encouraged by you. The blogging world has been such a blessing to me and I have so enjoyed "meeting" many of you through your blogs. So many of you share such amazing and inspiring blog posts and I enjoy reading them every day! One of those lovely and encouraging women is Rachel from Oh Simple Thoughts. She has such a beautiful heart and it has been so fun getting to know her the last couple of weeks. 

Today I am joining Rachel for her Coffee Date linkup. I wish so badly that we could have a coffee date in person but since we live so very far apart from one another we will sip our coffee and learn about each other through this sweet linkup hundreds of miles away from each other. It's going to be fun! 

My topic for our coffee date is The Beauty of Submission. Now, I know that the word submission is not very favored in today's society, even sometimes in the Christian community. It is a word that people usually associate with control or yielding to. What I want to share with you is that submitting to your husband is not a duty but gift. It is a way for us to bless our husbands with the opportunity to live our their role as the leader of the house. That is the way God designed it and the way he designed marriage.

I want to clarify and say that submission does not mean that our husbands make all of the decisions and that we do everything they say no questions asked. Marriage is about teamwork and unity. Husbands and wives should discuss everything and the wife's opinion should be heard just like the husbands. The act of submitting comes in when you both have different opinions about a decision and you have talked and prayed about it but instead of insisting on having your way, you follow your husbands lead and do what he thinks is best. It may not always turn out right but does that mean that we rub it in his face and decide to never submit to him again? NOOO!! I plead with you not to do that. It will tear down your husband more than anything else in the world. If the situation turns out badly when your husband makes the decision then he should take responsibility for it but we need to tell him that we still respect him and love him just the same. We need to be women of encouragement. I truly believe it will bless your marriage more than you know.

I would love to share with you a personal experience I had with submission and how God changed my heart.

Last year in January and February, Jordan and I were looking for a place to live after we got married. He was living with a few friends at the time and I was living with a family in our town. We had been looking for an apartment for a while and we weren't finding anything. It was really starting to stress me out and I was scared we were never going to find a place. After seeing how stressed out I was about it Jordan asked if he could have the responsibility of finding a place for us to live so I didn't have to worry about that and finishing wedding plans. I should have been excited and thankful, right? I mean that was so thoughtful and sweet of him to take on that responsibility. Well, I have a large struggle with control so... I was freaking out inside. What if he finds a place that is gross, too small, in a bad neighborhood or too expensive? I know, these thoughts were totally crazy! This was my future husband, not a stranger... I can trust his judgement. But, I bought into all these lies and concerns because I wasn't able to control the situation anymore.

After a few weeks Jordan sent me a link to a place and told me he wanted to go look at it. Well, this place was overpriced for the amount of space that you got and for the quality of the apartment... it was a dump. While we were walking through it I was panicking in side and trying to come up with a nice way to say that I hated it. Fortunately, Jordan didn't like it either so I didn't need to worry about that. We also looked at another apartment complex that was also pretty awful. BUT the price was great. We both decided that we would keep it in mind but would continue looking. After that the search continued.

That next week I had some free time so I decided to start looking at apartments online. After a little while I found a really cute little apartment with a great price and in a great part of town. I was so excited! I couldn't wait to tell Jordan about it and set up a showing. When I told him about the apartment he wasn't very excited. He said, "I thought you were going to let me handle it, don't you trust me?" Looking back I can see how he felt disrespected in that moment because I was trying to control our situation and take over from him. Unfortunately, at the time I couldn't understand what I did wrong.

After we talked about it and I apologized for trying to take control, Jordan agreed to go look at the apartment I found. Well, after seeing it, I was in love. It was in such a great part of town, it was so clean and it was a great price for us. When we got looking at it, I was ready to sign the lease that day. When we got in the car, I immediately started babbling all about how much I loved it and how I totally thought this was the right place for us! After I got done talking Jordan said, "I think we should wait, keep looking and pray about it." Hmmmm.... can you imagine how I reacted? I was NOT happy and I made that known to him. After I got done throwing a tiny fit we finally discussed it rationally and I agreed to wait a week.

That week was so very hard for me. I kept thinking that we were going to miss our opportunity and they would rent to someone else. Every time I asked Jordan, he kept saying that he still wanted to wait. I became more and more bitter about it. I even had that thought, "he is probably just being stubborn and not wanting to rent it because I found it instead of him." (Trust me I am not proud of this but I am just trying to be honest with you and tell you what I was really thinking.) I did a lot of praying that week. I also talked to a good friend of mine about it and she encouraged me to pray a little differently. Instead of praying for God to change Jordan's heart and love the apartment, I started praying for God to change my heart and for me to submit to Jordan in this hard time. I knew that he would not make this decision without spending time in thought and prayer. I needed to trust in my future husband and also trust that God would lead us to the right apartment. Later that week I found out that the apartment had been rented to someone else. At first I was devastated but I kept praying.

Well... LONG story short...(seriously sorry for how long this story was)

Jordan found us a HOUSE to rent. It was amazing and totally planned by God. Jordan knew someone who had just bought a house and was planning to rent it out. I always wanted to rent a house instead of an apartment but never thought we would be able to afford it. Well this house was amazing! It was in a town nearby where we were currently living and it was closer to where his parents live. It also had two bedrooms, a basement, deck, backyard AND a GARAGE! (Just so you know that was one of the best parts for me because Iowa winters...suck) Here is the very best part of the house though, it was CHEAPER than the one bedroom tiny apartment I found. God is so good.

I tell you this story not to brag about our current living situation or to tell you that God will give you whatever you want or more if you submit to your husband. I tell this story because God taught me a lot about submission during this time or our lives. When I found out about the apartment that Jordan found for us I felt like God was saying to me, "see my daughter, I will provide you with the things you need and I will even bless you with more than you need. I have given you this man to lead you and take care of you. Trust him."

 I learned that submitting to your husband is Biblical and incredibly important. When men take on the role as the husband they are the head of our households. We as women need to let them have that role and encourage them in it. I need to submit to Jordan's leadership and remember that if he is seeking God first then why would I have any need to worry? When you submit to our husbands, situations or circumstances may not turn out the way that you expect but they will always be a part of God's plan.

Sometimes they will be better than you expected.

If you are looking for a great book about marriage, motherhood, and submission consider reading Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney. It is an amazing book.

Thanks for reading and sticking with me beautiful! Thanks again to Rachel for hosting this linkup!

Enjoy your day and never forget how much God loves and adores you just the way you are.




  1. Awesome post friend! I love reading other's stories, especially about marriage. So glad you linked up today! Have a great day! :)

  2. ah! Thank you so much for this! It was SO encouraging! My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and are planning to get married soon. The idea of submitting has always seemed so exciting to me ( I know, that's weird), but the more our relationship progresses, the more I realize how hard it is to do that sometimes. I've been told over and over again that submitting to your husband brings glory to God, and it really, really does! It's so nice to meet you. The blog world has been such a blessing to me, and I know it has to you, too! :)

  3. Oh I am such a strong believer in the power of storytelling. Stories define so much about how we interpret and understand life to thank you for taking the time to share that story with us. It is crazy that I am currently working on formulating a post on the reality of submission in marriage for a few weeks from now. Such a misunderstood Biblical concept and you are spot on in your understand and explanation of it, Praise the Lord! I wish so badly I could hug your neck and drink some coffee with you face to face Lindsey! This was truly a delight to read and see deeper into your heart. Thanks for linking up and drinking some coffee with me! You are a gem! much love to you!!

  4. Stopping in from Rachel's link up. I love this stroy. God's timing is not always our own, but works out so perfectly when we trust Him. Love your story! And I'm a new follower!

  5. Beautiful. Your honest and transparency benefits your readers beyond what you can imagine. Keep with that. :)

  6. Submission used to be a dirty word for me ;) When I got to the heart of it, though, I realized it was more about trusting God than anything else. Did I trust that God would take care of me, even if I feared my husband wouldn't? I had to wrestle that one out as I learned to submit to my (amazing!) husband. And you're right - it's such a gift to our spouses when we do that!

    Thank you for sharing your heart, Lindsey! I love your thoughts on marriage and your story about the house!


  7. I love this post! Submitting definitely isn't a control thing - I just believe ultimately that the husband is responsible for the family and he is the one held accountable (according to the Bible); therefore, that's why we have to submit to him because he has to answer for all the decisions. Like you said though, it doesn't mean we still aren't a team and talk about them and decide together. GREAT POST! and again, so glad I found your blog! You're totally going under my favorites category on bloglovin! ha.